Impossible Things
by kirstennn
Summary: “'I love you,' she’s saying. 'I love you and I deserve you. It’s not fair. I loved you first and best.'” Leah Clearwater, Jacob Black. Title and a few quotes taken from "To Wish Impossible things" by The Cure


It's two days after the fact that Jacob finds her in his garage. She's sitting on the counter, next to a twelve-pack of Corona and his box of tools. His Rabbit is on, windows rolled down, and the stereo's playing some sappy, slow song.

His eyes quickly scan over her. She's wearing a tight fitting wife beater, cutoffs that are too big for her (probably Seth's), held up with bungee cord hooked onto itself, and cowboy boots, complete with spurs. She looks as if she hasn't slept since they last saw each other.

"What are you doing here?" she says.

Jake takes three steps closer to her, says, "I should ask the same of you."

"I mean, shouldn't you be over by Embry's house?" she asks, adding an extra bite to the last two words. He shrugs at this, getting closer and closer with each breath. Leah sets down her half gone bottle of Corona and plucks another out of the box. "Beer?" she offers, and he nods. She aligns her top teeth to the edge of the bottle cap, and pulls it away. Jake takes the bottle from her hands, just as she spits the cap out of her mouth.

"You'll break your teeth doing that," he says, and Leah can almost swear she hears something in his voice. Sincerity, honesty… something, she can't quite put her finger on it.

"There's worse things could happen... There's worse things _did_ happen." Leah brings her bottle to her lips and tilts her head back; Jake follows after her. They are quiet for a while. Leah opens up another bottle just as Jacob finishes his. The song changes on the stereo, and Jacob steps backwards to where he's leaning on the hood of his car.

After what seems like forever, Jake opens his mouth and says, "So… How'd you get the keys to my car?" Leah shuts her eyes closed, and attempts to calmly set her bottle of beer down on the counter. Instead, she slams it down so hard, the bottle breaks and the beer spills everywhere. There are glass shards in her hands, but Leah isn't bothered. She's just shaking her head back and forth.

"I can't do this. I can't fucking do this," she's muttering. Jake has gotten up from the hood of his car and is reaching for her hand, trying to pluck out the pieces of glass with his dirty fingernails.

"Leah, stop moving. Leah, please stop moving. You've got glass in your hand," he's saying. He is working as quick as he can, but Leah just pulls her hand away from him. She starts picking out the glass herself, and Jake just stands there, mouth gaping, useless.

She's muttering to herself as she removes the last piece of glass, "I can't do this, I can't fucking do this." Jacob reaches around her, searches for a clean towel on the counter. All he can find is one only half-covered in oil. He wraps it over Leah's hand, applying as much pressure as he figures will help.

Leah's left hand is limp in his, but she's using her right hand to shade her eyes, to hide her face. She's still shaking her head, muttering to herself. Jake removes the towel from her hand, flips it around a few times and says, "There, all better. Everything's fine."

Leah gasps, removes her right hand from her forehead, and slaps Jake right across the face. "Nothing's fine, Jacob!" she yells. "Nothing's fine! What the hell are you doing here? You can't just pretend that everything's okay and we can still be friends!"

"This is _my_ fucking car that you're using for a stereo and this is _my_ fucking garage that you're sitting in right now. That's what the hell I'm doing here, Leah!"

"You're right," she says, pushing herself off of the counter. Walking away, she adds, "Keep the beer. Consider it a parting gift."

Jake closes his eyes as she brushes past him. A nanosecond later, he grabs her hand, anchors her in place. "Leah, wait," he breathes. He turns around to face her, even though her body is turned away from him. "I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry," he says.

Leah pulls her hand away from his, and shakes her head once. "No. You have no clue what you're saying. You're a zombie, just like the rest of them. Just like Sam and Jared and Quil. You don't have a brain anymore."

Jake takes one step closer to her, almost reaches out a hand to touch her face, but decides against it. He looks down at his bare feet, at Leah's ridiculous boots, then back up to her face. "Maybe so. But I still have a heart."

Leah whips around at this. Jake can almost see Leah's skin jump, but she doesn't phase. Instead, her face is inches from his. "_For who?_" she yells. The intensity of the past second leaves them both gasping for air.

Jacob has no clue how to respond to this, so he just stays frozen in the same place.

"For who?" she repeats, but her voice breaks this time. "For who, Jacob?" He's as still as a statue. "For who, Jacob? I want to hear you say who your fucking heart is for." Jacob's jaw tenses.

"I… I…" he stutters.

"I want to hear you say it. I just want to hear you _fucking _say it."

"Leah, please, don't…" he whispers.

Leah lets out a sardonic chuckle. "Don't come to me pretending like everything's okay and we can still be friends," she says as she walks away from him.

The song changes on the stereo. "Annabel Call," he whispers. Leah stops right in her tracks. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Leah pauses for a second, then her knees buckle, and she is kneeling on the floor. Jacob can hear the tears rolling off of her cheeks.

"I loved you," she's sobbing. "It's not fair." Jacob goes to kneel in front of her, so they are facing each other. He doesn't quite know what to do, he just places his hands on her thighs. "It's not fair," she sobs, leaning her head against his shoulder. She's hitting his chest with her fists and crying into his collar.

"_I_ love you," she's saying. "_I _love you and _I _deserve you. It's not fair." Jacob puts his hands on her back so that he is hugging her. He's burying his face in her long, black hair, forcing himself to remember how she smells and how she feels in his arms. Her sobs are getting weaker and weaker. "_I_ loved you first and best."

The song changes on the stereo. Some melancholy voice is playing through the speakers. Leah wipes the last of her tears away with her forearm. "Remember how it used to be when the sun would fill the sky," the man is singing.

Jacob grabs Leah's chin between his fingers. He leans his head toward hers, and then their lips are pressed together. When they pull away from each other, Jacob whispers, "I loved _you_ first and best. No matter what happens in the future, that will always stay the same. I loved _you _first and best, okay?"

Leah weakly nods, and Jacob moves to lean his forehead against hers. "If I could just stay here forever…" Jake murmurs.

The man on the radio continues to sing, "It was the hope of all we might have been that fills me with the hope to wish impossible things."

The two of them stayed like that, foreheads touching, eyes closed, trying to preserve their last moment together.

"All I wish is gone away," the man is singing. "All I wish is gone away."


End file.
